Why coaching is such a good idea
I first came across coaching when I worked in the corporate world. If I’m honest I didn’t really understand the concept.
Why pay someone to have a conversation? I could do that for free with my best friend, or mum! If I needed work related guidance I’d talk to my manager. Psychologists and therapists seem to come with a whole raft of degrees, qualifications and letters after their names. So where did coaches fit in? What couldn’t I gain from some combination of the people I already talked to?
The International Coaching Federation (ICF) is the gold standard membership association for coaches worldwide and defines coaching as “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”
There is so much to unpack there but for me one of the key words is ‘partnering’. Unlike many other professional relationships, coaching is based on a peer-to-peer relationship. Coaching is not about telling someone what to do, or giving someone instructions. Spoiler alert - coaching is based on the idea that the client - ie you - is their own best advisor.
The coaching process is all about leading the client to their own conclusions. The coach does not bring their own advice, opinions, bright ideas or judgements to the table, because we do not know what is best for someone else. The thing that we DO know is that by asking thoughtful and sometimes challenging questions, we can help our clients come to the right answers by themselves.
Why is it so important that the client comes to their own conclusions? This was another question of mine before I fully understood what coaching and the coaching process was all about. Critical to coaching is the fact that it is goal focused - you have to want to achieve something and be working actively towards that goal. If someone else gives you all their ideas and answers for how to get there, it often comes across as instructions and sometimes those instructions don’t fit with your own ideas of how to do something. Further, if someone else’s ideas don’t work, you can go back to them and say “I didn’t achieve my goal because your plan did not work” - who then is responsible for you not achieving your goal? Is it you or is it the person who gave you the advice? Personal accountability is everything. If you come up with your own bright idea, you are far more engaged with it and therefore feel more accountable for your own actions. Julie Starr in “The Coaching Manual” puts it beautifully when she says “we coach from the principal that individuals are ultimately responsible for their experience and...the results they are getting”.
Coaches provide clients with questions that are both evocative and provocative - that disturb a client’s habits, preferences and assumptions. All this is done in a respectful and, I hope, friendly way but which nonetheless shake you up a bit. Habits are rooted in the past. Coaching looks to the future so in our coaching partnership we work to recombine, adjust and renew your perspective and move you outside of your comfort zone.
No progress is ever made if you’re happily tucked up in your comfort zone.
Another really key thing about coaching that I didn’t appreciate until I’d started my training was that “coaches collaborate on process, not content”.
Again this means that all the ideas and insights come from the coachee not the coach. The coach is there to keep you rolling from one idea to the other - what the coach does not do is interject their own ideas (ie. content) into the equation. Whilst you won’t act on every single one of the ideas you come up with, there are bound to be a few that prove to be useful. And don’t underestimate the power of saying something out loud - the very act of verbalising a thought can really galvanise you into action. Stephen R Covey puts it so well when he says that “all things are created twice” - first in your imagination and then in real life. Talking an idea through is the first step in making your imaginative creation a real life creation. It can be quite scary to begin with but once you’ve said it, the coach's job is then to break that scary idea down into achievable chunks.
Any big dream takes time, commitment and planning. Together we decide what will work best for you so that you keep moving towards your goal with the same enthusiasm you had at the beginning.
Basically coaching is about letting your imagination run riot and then helping you make it a reality, whatever that riot might look like.
I’d love to help you make your imaginative riot a reality - drop me a line to arrange a free, no-obligation chat. I look forward to hearing from you!
